That “what if” question.

Thanks to Miss Julia for her last post. That’s what inspired me to write this one. I got to thinking about the past and how many things could’ve turned out differently if certain things didn’t happen how they did. You know those “what if” questions and thoughts?

I potentially could have never existed if my father wouldn’t have had thyroid problems. He was drafted for the military but they didn’t take him because of that. Even though it’s a sucky problem to have I’m ever so grateful because he met my mom and had me! I don’t know if I’d be here had he gone off to fight in war.

If my dad’s first wife wouldn’t have cheated on him with her tennis instructor he never would’ve met my mom. I mean come on how cliche. My dad pays for you to have a private tennis instructor and you repay him by sleeping with him numerous times? Lady, this isn’t a Lifetime movie even though you did go psycho on my mom.

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They have such a beautiful love.

If my amazing childhood dog hadn’t died when she did I never would’ve gotten the little ball of fur cuddled up next to me in bed right now. Even though I couldn’t stop crying for weeks and swore I would never love another dog like I loved Lexi again, I made it through and love Ollie just as much.

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We got her when I was 6 and she died when I was 15.

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My baby now♥

That night my mom and I fought like crazy because she didn’t want me to drive out to Joel’s because it was an insanely bad snow storm but I did it anyway.

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Ya it wasn’t my smartest choice but I’m also glad it happened.  Because of that I learned to value everything so much more. Time is precious and there are WAY too many people who’s lives are cut way too short. I’m sure anyone who’s life was cut short was shaking their heads at me from heaven on this night. Be more careful with the time you are given. Why I was spared and others aren’t in this situation still baffles me but it looks like my job on Earth wasn’t finished yet. That saying people use “I saw my life flash before my eyes.” is so true. Except I didn’t see things in the past, I thought about everything I didn’t get to do. Well that and I heard Carrie Underwoods voice going “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEL. TAKE IT FROM MY HANDS!!” No joke that song sends chills up my spine everytime I hear it. Although my baby (meaning car, not an actual human baby) didn’t make it through this, I did. It was a good lesson learned.  Listening to your mama is also a wise choice. They usually know best. After her shock wore off and I was fully recovered she gave me the very well deserved “I told you.” But she also blamed herself for giving into my bitch fit and letting me go. This was not in any way her fault. I was a love crazed teenager with a license for only 6 months. Not even that snow storm could’ve stopped me…until it did coming home from his house, obviously.

If I would’ve never let Joel into my life I’d be alot more trusting, sane, happy, open hearted, and I would’ve passed Spanish.  BUT I did and I learned what real love feels like and had some of the happiest times I’ll probably ever have in my life. 4 years of my life was with him and I wouldn’t trade a day of it. Even the ones where I was crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe. He has been one of my best lessons in life. Now I know what I want and what I don’t want in a relationship. Plus I was never good at Spanish anyways. 

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Thank you.

If it weren’t working for the god awful Biggby Coffee in my hometown I never would’ve met my best friend in the entire world, Carrie Lippert. We HATED that job and our boss was an obese pig but we made the best of it. Especially when it was just us two on shifts 🙂 I thank God almost daily for that awful job. I couldn’t get through life without this woman.

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These are just some of the moments that could’ve turned out so differently. Just by doing one simple thing differently or a minute later could change the outcome of something even bigger. Don’t look at things like regrets. I never regret anything.  Any mistakes you make are just lessons to add to your book. Trust me, my book is already quite large. But that’s life, and I’m learning. Moments happen, literally everyday. Take the time to slow down and realize them. Never take anything for granted. Anytime you’re feeling down about something that has happened just try to find a lesson in it. It’s called the silver lining. If you can find that in even the most difficult of times and situations then you will live a better and happier life. That is something I’m sure of.

What if I wasn’t picked on by girls all throughout my years in school? Sure I probably wouldn’t have come home crying as much as I did but I also would’ve never become the strong, independent, take no shit, woman that I am today. All those girls did for me was make me a better person. And the best part is I’m doing better then them all now. Karma finds it way sooner or later. So this is my middle finger to all you Amy Krogman’s of the world. Sorry you felt so insecure that you needed to bring other people down. But thank you for showing me how good and strong of a person I am. 

“Regrets and mistakes they are memories made.” – Thank you Adele for that one and how I will always think of Joel during that song. But again, it was a lesson learned.

How often do you think “what if?”
How do you feel about the word regret?

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On Wisconsin.

I’ve had this sitting as a draft for about a week now. It was half finished so there’s no better time than now to do so!  Especially with how much I’ve been slacking at this blog thing!

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Take a moment. What is the first thing you think when you see this picture?  (Besides the fact that this is over a year old and I look like a baby.)
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I bet it’s not “Hey that’s a gay couple with Olivia!” Well it is!  On the left is my Uncle Rick.  My grandparents only son. It took him until he was 35 to come out. How sad is that?  It’s not like we didn’t have our suspicions due to the fact that he never had a girlfriends but hey maybe he just wasn’t the dating type. I hate when people say “well he doesn’t look gay”. No he doesn’t. But does gay really have a look? Not necessarily. The man on my right has been my uncles partner for the last 5 years. Up until they’re recent breakup. Guess what guys, EVERYONE, straight, gay, or bi, they ALL have relationship troubles. Mulitply theirs times 100 due to the fact that they’re gay.
I love my uncle. We have the best conversations. He lives in Phoenix and is a hott shot CEO and VP of a worldwide insurance company. He literally lives the good life. Here’s our conversation the other day. Seriously how can you not love it?!

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And here he is with my lesbian cousin, Jess. My family is so colorful I just love it!

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Well the reason for this post is I’m SO happy to say that my home state of Wisconsin has finally gotten their heads out of their ass and legalized the marriage of gays!

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Even if I didn’t have members of my family that were gay I’d still be a backer 100%. Who am I to say who you can and can’t love? People who think they can help that are insane. None of them chose to be that way. Why would they with such a hateful society? No matter what love is love. And I’m thrilled to be part of a state that is allowing them to marry now. It brings tears to my eyes to see how happy this has made some people.

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My favorite cut off.

It saddens me deeply that there are still some people too afraid to come out. It makes me sad that my uncle was treated differently at work after coming out, that some people get kicked out of their families for loving the same sex. It wasn’t easy for my grandpa to hear that his only son that he raised was gay but at the end of the day after he let it all sink he realized it’s still the same son he raised and he couldn’t be more proud. That is why I love my family. I wish that everyone could see that way. And trust me, for my grandparents to be so accepting and loving of this was hard because they are die hard Catholics. At the end of the day though, family was above even that.
This law has passed now and still there are some court houses in Wisconsin refusing to marry same sex couples. My feed on facebook is filled with posts of protestors standing outside courthouses in my town and the neighbouring towns. Just let them be married. They have the same right that we do.

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There are few major topics that I’m very vocal about. Equality for woman is one. The marriage of gays is another and then animal rights. I’m sorry if I ever offend anyone with posts I do on these topics but they’re all very near and dear to my heart. And the celebrities that use their fame to help these causes make me so happy.

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You tell em' Zac Efrom! I have this shirt as well. Fck8.com

But my most favorite gay person in the whole wide world?!
ELLEN.

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I am Catholic.  I don’t always agree with their ways but it’s what I was raised as. This man has made me proud to be that once again. God bless him and his unconventional ways.

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And one final thing, there is a campaign “spread the word to stop the word” which is reference to the word “retarded”. A word you will never hear me use unless for something like this. But when I see people who are so adamant upon people not using that word and then yelling “this is so gay” I literally want to punch them in the throat. THERE ARE A MILLION OTHER WORDS TO USE.

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So on that note. Here’s some happiness. 10 stories of acceptance that will fill you with hope. Because sometimes all we need is a little hope.♥

“No freedom till we’re equal. Damn right I support it.” -Same Love by Macklemore
(I hope this song is a stuck in your head as it is mine after reading this. As soon as I hear the first notes of that piano in this song I get chills. Such a powerful song.)

#yesallwomen

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Because no 8 year girl should be touched by a man she trusted. 
Because no 8 year old girls best friend should be sexually abused by their father.
Because NOBODY no matter what age should be violated in any way. 

This is something I NEVER talk about. Ever. My family doesn’t speak of it either.That’s how I want it to be. It’s not who I am, it’s not something I want to remember, it’s not something I’m ashamed of though. It wasn’t my fault or my best friends at the time.

That’s why this movement is near and dear to me. You wouldn’t expect that to happen at 8 years old.  But still that man sits in prison. Where that bastard rightfully should be.
I’m thankful my family moved. I’m thankful my father punched him. I’m thankful that man is in jail. But I’m EXTREMELY sad that it even happened.  It left a family broken. All the children were fostered into separate families and a full blown investigation was under way. Almost 13 years ago still seems so fresh in my mind.
What do some people not register with the fact that the word “noreally does mean NO.

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I’m almost 21 and in my short life I personally know two rape victims, one child born due to it, and three girls who have been date drugged and molested. That is 5 too many. I’ve seen it destroy lives, families, and people’s spirits. We live in America. Somewhere you’re supposed to feel safe and free. Granted we are nowhere near as bad as some other countries but it’s still a MAJOR problem. When does it stop? What does it take to stop it?
I carry pepper spray in my purse EVERYWHERE I go. Never do I leave without out. When I have to walk alone or through a parking ramp I put each key between a finger so if I have to punch someone it’ll be my keys that dig into them. We shouldn’t have to live in a world like that but the reality is that we do.
I read this article this morning and I HIGHLY suggest anyone to read it.
Why I Give a Damn about #yesallwomen
Teach your children about this right away. Don’t wait until it’s too late. That’s the best way to start, teaching them right from wrong.

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How sad is this?

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A POWERFUL STATEMENT

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He is a true inspiration.

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The logic.

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The statistics are beyond startling.

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This post isn’t so you’ll feel sorry for me or anyone else. It’s to educate, to inform, and to show you that it can happen to ANYONE. We as women need to have voices. So use them loud and proud, ladies!
#YESALLWOMEN

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And finally, to all the men out there using their voices to help. WE THANK YOU.

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Spread the word.

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CMT Awards!

Music wise this is my all time favorite awards. Mostly because I’m a country girl through and through. Plus any excuse I have to look at Luke Bryan and Tim McGraw is wonderful.

Time for the fashion.  I just love this part.
Two of the most influential women in country business – Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert (she’s up for 6 awards tonight!) They both are just gorgeous and although exact opposite dresses I love them both! I would die for Carrie Underwoods legs. Fun fact: they’re actually insured. HIT.

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Luke Bryan. He just does it for me. His wife is one lucky woman. HIT.

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Kellie Pickler is such a cute woman. I think the color fits her perfect and it’s very summery! HIT.

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Dierks Bentley- what the hell. I know your new song Drunk on a Plane is absolutely great and what not but this is seriously how you want to show up to an awards show?  MISS.

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Ok I can’t believe I’m even saying this because he shouldn’t be singing or doing anything country but Jason Derulo what is with your pants?! Couldn’t you try and dress somewhat nice? Really you don’t belong here. MISS.

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They may be a power couple but they do not dress like one. MISS for both of them. And it will always make me laugh how much shorter he is than her. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, folks. It just isn’t working for me.

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Kirsten Bell- you’re hosting for the 3rd year and I love sparkles so I’m giving this a HIT. The middle part on her just throws me off a bit. But the dress fits her like a glove. HIT.

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I can’t decide if this dress works for her or not but I LOVE Cassadee Pope. She wins for breakthrough video of the year! HIT/MISS.

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One of the newbies to country music fresh off The Voice is Rae Lynn. Sorry hun, you look too princess prom-ish for me. Tinkerbell called, she wants her tutu back. P.s. Tinkerbell wore it better. MISS.

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Oohh Alex Dupree eerrm I mean Jana Kramer how I envy you. Goodness I miss One Tree Hill. But dang girl this color is spot on and you’re just fabulous! HIT.

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Be still my beating heart! Is that a SMILE I see on Jason Aldean?! Seriously I sat through his concert and I’m pretty sure he didn’t smile once.  Even while telling a joke. That aside I’m just still disappointed about his affair with this woman that broke up his 12 year marriage and now they’re at an awards show together?! You got balls dude. And you obviously used them to cheat. Just for that I say MISS.

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Winner for breakthrough video of the year was my girl Cassaddee Pope for “Wasting all these Tears“.  Blake was like a proud papa! I seriously love this lady and that video.

Blake Shelton then went on to win for Male video of the year for “Doin’ What She Likes” SUCH A CUTE SONG.

His wife Miranda Lambert won for female video of the year for “Automatic” which is such a powerful song. Makes you think alot about how much times have changed. Her and Blake are seriously my favorite country couple.

Collaborative video of the year went to Florida Georgia Line and Luke Bryan for “This is how we Roll” honestly this was no surprise to me. These guys make hits.

Florida Georgia Line also took home duo of the year. Again, no surprise. They’re superstars.

Group video of the year went to The Band Perry for “Done”. This was the only surprise for me. There were ALOT of good videos in this category and I didn’t expect this one to win.

Carrie Underwood took home the top prize of the night for “See you Again” winning video of the year. I love Carrie she’s such a powerhouse and this song hit all of my emotions.

I just want to say Miranda and Carrie work together. Damn they are powerhouses. I loved their performance together and damn they both looked amazing!!!
Oh what a wonderful night of country music.
What did you think of the outfits?!
Anyone surprised by the wins/loses?

Life update!

Hello everyone!
I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve updated anyone on my life!
Well let me tell you something- life’s been going pretty damn good!
However,  I’m pretty bummed that the weekend is over because it was a good one!!!!

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I know I already mentioned it BUT my best friend only lives about an hour from me now!! So what did we do on Saturday?! WE ENJOYED SOME BEACH TIME!!!

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Seriously can’t even tell you how happy I am to be so close to her now! We saw eachother twice last week!!!!

Today was the ever so dreaded Monday BUT it was the first time in forever that I didn’t hate a Monday. I put in a request for a new shift because I’m an early bird and would rather get off earlier. My request was accepted and I have a new shift of 7-2. I’m THRILLED because I’m writing this and already finished a full day of work. SO MUCH TIME FOR ACTIVITIES!!!!
Seriously, I can go to the beach, take naps, read. ANYTHING!
Speaking of reading I finished this book not too long ago. Brain on Fire seriously such a good memoir.

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It’s the true story of a woman who was working for the New York Times and literally just had a month of madness. She was completely normal and in a matter of 23 days went off the deep end. Must read to figure out why/what happened. The brain is such an interesting thing and I love psychology. Highly recommend! 
I also finished a novel called First Love by James Patterson. I’m a big fan of his writing and if you’re looking for a cute light beach read I would suggest this. It’s all lovey dovey and what not.
I’m going to do a summer reads post sometime soon!

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Oh I did get pulled over the other day for speeding. Thankfully he gave me a warning but I also got yelled at and a warning for not wearing shoes while driving. I was super annoyed and I said to the officer “look I just worked 8 hours in brand new heels and they were KILLING my feet. You will never know the feeling of taking off your heels after a long day.” And his response was “fair enough” which I was thankful for because I realized I was probably snotty and he could’ve thrown the book at me. But seriously this is what our foot looks like in heels. Can you blame a woman for being pissy at times?!

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THANK YOU OFFICER. Catch ya never!

Otherwise there hasn’t been too much going on. I’ve been living a pretty good life the past couple of months and I’m still loving the La Crosse area. I’ve done hiking, beach sitting, napping, eating, downtown walking, and just enjoying being happy again. Hopefully it sticks around!

To end this post I’d just like to do a tribute to one of the most iconic ladies ever. Happy 88th birthday Marilyn Monroe! What I wouldn’t give to sit down and have dinner with you! You’re plastered all over my house and I will never get tired of quoting you. You may have been promiscuous but you’re still fabulous! Here’s to ya!

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“I’m not interested in money, all I want is to be fabulous.” You definitely are!

Anything new in anyone’s life?!
Have you read anything good lately?