TGIF. Seriously, I NEED it.

So this is where I’d post a middle finger emoji if there was one.

This week has been so full of, well, everything. I have felt every emotion in the books. (and no it’s not my monthly visitor either). My week has just been crazy busy.

Monday and Tuesday I had off at my credit union job. (a day off does not mean what it used to anymore) YAY FOR GROWING UP. Instead, I babysat all day. Literally, ALL DAY.

Tuesday- I made the trek in -40 degree weather to Lacrosse for a job fair. Can I just tell you how tired I am of winter. To be honest I’m not a winter person what so ever and I was tired of it after the first snowfall. The people that enjoy cold weather really worry me. Everything just seems worse when the weather sucks. Personally, I am more irritable, I am ten times more tired, I have no motivation to do anything but cuddle up in my blankets, and going outside is like pulling teeth. I was born in the wrong state, that I am SURE of. Sometimes I look up funny pictures just to boost my mood. I think this was my favorite that I found, today.

Wednesday, or hump day as everyone else says was nothing as fun as it should sound when you call it hump day. Driving to work in the morning felt like it took an hour. People that live in Wisconsin should know how to drive in conditions that we get EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I didn’t even bring out the Duramax to make the trek and I did fine. I like to call my little car a tank because it’s been through hell and back and still manages to be absolutely wonderful! (Yes, I’ve had my fair share of accidents. RIP to my first car). When I finally made it to work I got out of my car and slipped right there. Not only did I completely fall on my ass but I smacked my head on my open car door. It was really just an awesome way to start out my morning. I had to sit through the first half of the day with a wet butt. We all know that’s the best feeling. So as you can imagine I was in a really good mood on Wednesday. Like I said, insert middle finger emoji to mother nature, HERE.

Thursday- To be honest it was just a boring day. I sat and waited patiently at work to hear about another job I had applied for in Lacrosse. I’m a very impatient person. I can’t help it, it’s a work in progress. A very, very slow one. After work I went home and made my third attempt to figure out how to work my new smart TV that I got for Christmas. Seriously, nothing pisses me off more than when I can’t figure out something with technology. I even waited an hour on hold with tech support for it. They didn’t help, at all. I put it back in the box for now. Like I said, I’m impatient.

NOW IT’S FRIDAY- THANK THE HIGH HEAVENS!

Since it’s only 9:54 I can say I’m having a pretty good morning! It’s been a slow morning at work. (obviously since I’ve been able to write a blog post). I turned in my letter of resignation and it was very bittersweet. I’m excited that I’m moving but this has been my favorite job so I will miss it and my wonderful, yet wacky co-workers. I’m excited to see what Lacrosse has in store for me! Onto the next chapter. My last day will be February, 28th. Can’t believe it.

Tonight when I get home I will indulge in a large glass of wine. That is what I am most looking forward to! As for any other weekend plans, well I haven’t really made any. Which feels wonderful knowing I can do pretty much anything.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

(I promise my next post will be more uplifting and happy)

What are your weekend plans? Was your week better than mine? Anything/anyone you would like to give the middle finger to from this week?

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Because of you.

And because you’ll never see this. Because it would be six years. Because it’s been on my mind for the first time in a long time.

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After reading that you’d probably wonder what’s on my mind. Well, even if you aren’t I’m going to tell you Maybe you’ll relate to this, maybe you won’t. I’ll lay it out flat for you. I had my person, well I thought I had my person. You know, the one you wake up to in the morning and just smile. The one who you spent days and days with and yet didn’t get sick of them. The one who when they weren’t there you felt only half there. The one that made you feel beautiful even when you didn’t feel that way.  The one I didn’t know how I’d ever live without.

576802_10150893371419257_433131941_nYeah, that one. Well the thing is, after five years I found out exactly what it’s like to live without you. After a year of yo-yoing back and forth I knew that 2014 had to be different. To cut you out and do what everyone had told me to do for all of 2013. Letting go is a hard concept. You feel like you’re giving up when in fact you’re overcoming, conquering, bettering your life. This is what I had to do. I am so thankful for the years I spent with you. You taught me what love is. The real, true, meaning, of that simple but oh so complicated 4 letter word. I think the meaning of love is different for each person. For me it was that feeling of getting butterflies everytime we kissed, or that feeling of always knowing that no matter how sucky your day was that you’d have someone to come home to and make you feel better. That person who was just, if not more, just as weird as you.

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Then it happened, the end of that all. People everyday have to go through it. They cry, they get angry, they feel defeated, they feel heartbroken, and they hate the world. With the help of my family, my amazing friends, and even people who just knew how I felt, I got over it. I mean as over it as one can possibly get. I’ll always love you, but I don’t love the you that you are now. And that’s what has helped me move on.

Because of you, I’ve realized exactly what I do and don’t deserve. Because of you, I know what love is. Because of you, I know what not to look for in someone. Because of you, it’s harder for me to trust people. Because of you, I’ve learned how to accept change, even if I may not always like it. Because of you, I’ve seen just how strong I am. Because of you, I learned how to say no. Because of you, I learned my weaknesses. Because of you, I am braver than I ever was.

Because of you, I found someone who is even more than I could have asked for. Sometimes a best friend works out to be even more 🙂 But, we’ll save that for another post, another time!

I am brave.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4

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The saying “When one door closes, another door opens” is all too. No matter what you’re going through, heartbreak, or something else. There are better things to come.

It feels so wonderful to finally put this down in words. I am free. I am finally happy again. Even on my days of weakness, which I felt while writing this. Now I can feel good that you know you made a mistake and I am still strong enough to know who you are now isn’t who I want to be with. I’m gone, and you have yourself to blame.

P.S. Thank you.

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Have you overcome something that made you feel brave?

A weekend of nothing, and I loved it.

I’m sort of obsessed with reading. I guess there could be worse things to be obsessed to, right? When I read I’m literally oblivious to the world. There’s nothing I enjoy more than sitting in front of my fireplace, with a glass of wine, and reading (Cliché, I know).  But in all seriousness, lately it’s been even worse. I don’t know if it’s because the weather has been either our choice of inches, and inches of snow OR almost -40 degree wind-chill. Both are highly pleasurable wouldn’t you say?

NOT.

So, instead of going out on a Friday or Saturday night I chose to stay in and read. I can’t lie though, I did have some company.

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The best company.

Yes, my best four-legged friend who enjoyed the warmth of the fire just as much as I did. So while everyone was out drinking, wearing things that are in no way warm enough for this weather, and making poor decisions, I was sitting here. Do I think I missed out on a good night? Maybe. Do I wish I would’ve went out? Nope. I got to catch up on my reading and I woke up without a hangover and all day to do whatever I please, instead of sleeping it away.  I do wish I could say that I got to bed at a good time, but that would be a lie. I had a book and I just couldn’t stop reading. When I finally snapped out of my reading trance, (aka I finished the book), I saw that it was 4 a.m. Wonderful. I was so deep into that book that I didn’t even realize the time. That’s when you know it’s a good book.

a sisters gift

This is what I read.

Now, it’s Sunday and I decided to write this because I have already finished two movies. Now You See Me, which has Dave Franco, how can you not already love it?! And The Spectacular Now which is a newer one that got very little advertising but was surprisingly REALLY good. If you haven’t seen either of these movies I highly suggest you do so.

I am now going to attempt to figure out how to get my new smart tv to work. It’s more like a second attempt because I got too impatient the first time and put it back in the box. Patience- one thing I do not have but wish oh so much that I did.

I guess we can’t be perfect, and that’s more than ok with me.

the dark side of perfection.

My best friend couldn’t have said it better. Perfection is something so many people strive for, but in reality, IT’S JUST NOT REAL. Nobody is perfect nor should anyone be expected to be. If you’re always striving for perfection you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Strive to be the best you that you can be and that’s all that matters.
Prayers to this family as they cope with such a hard loss.

carrie lippert

today i want to talk about an illness that a large amount of people suffer from.

it’s called perfectionism.

perfection

it’s easy to think that always striving for perfection is a good way to push yourself to do better and to be better in all aspects of your life, but what happens when perfection takes a turn for the worst?

this is what happens.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/upenn-track-star-jumps-death-philadelphia-article-1.1585337

this girl was absolutely beautiful. she was smart, athletic and well liked, but the struggle to be perfect and the stress that came with it all was more than she felt she could handle. it is beyond saddening to see a life end this way, but i’ve always been a glass half full kind of girl, and i think we can learn from Madison, and we can do our part to make sure that her death can help others to get past the road blocks…

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Blog virgin.

This is my first ever blogging experience. I figured I’d give it a whirl after reading one of my best friends blogs Carrie Lippert . Not really sure how to use this but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

So much to say, I don’t even know where to begin. So maybe I’ll just leave that up to my first official post about something other than the fact that this is my first ever blog.

I hope everyone has a fabulous day!